We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
