I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Randomize
