Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You made out with two different species that night
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
