I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
