I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
