Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Randomize
