I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
