I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Sober January is a disaster.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
