I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
The beer is more important than you right now.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
don't judge my taste in strippers
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize