he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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