he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
We are two peas in an std pod
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
We just shotgunned beers for America
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Randomize
