none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
