You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
