Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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