I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
