It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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