coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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