There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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