My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
