Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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