i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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