Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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