he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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