if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
