after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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