is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Randomize