if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Randomize
