I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
