if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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