we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
