Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Randomize