what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I will be naked everywhere
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
