no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
