Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize