I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
