I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
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