I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
