apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
