the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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