I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
