I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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