Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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