plz talk dirty to me
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
