hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
