I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
When did angry sex become our thing?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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