forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
The police scanner is talking about you again....
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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