I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize
