Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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