She is in my trunk
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize
