I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
