I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I will pee on everything he values.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
