I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
