i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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