Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
