walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
