She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Blood and glitter go together right?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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