My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
