How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
We are two peas in an std pod
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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