youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
