She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
