I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
she pinky promised me she was 18
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
